Monday, April 12, 2010

The Shape of Things

There is just no excuse for how long it's been since I posted here. Well, except this...

It's been a crazy couple weeks. Or month... has it been a month since I posted? Well, here's the deal. Things have just been crazy around the apartment/campus/overall state of NJ. My best friends are getting ready to graduate, and rather than spending our last couple months together being crazy in love, we've been a little distant and indirect, so that has been taxing. On top of which, it's been hard for me to deal not only with them leaving and feeling like I've been sort of left behind, but also with the fact that they are both doing so well and moving on to such great things, and I'm still stuck at school watching all of my plans fall to pieces.

For one, Hedwig has been rumored to be moving to Broadway. It hasn't played in NYC since it closed off-broadway in the early 2000s, and then when I decide I'd like to produce it, it moves to Broadway. For those who don't know the process, a show's rights (or copyrights) are typically not released to productions within a certain proximity of a major production... aka- if there is a production on Broadway in NYC, and I'm looking to produce it 20 miles away in Montclair, NJ, it ain't gonna happen. I haven't completely lost hope, but I'm really praying I can work it out... I still haven't even figured out where I want to produce it. Oy #1.

Oy #2- Lately, I have been feeling like I have absolutely, positively, 100%, no argument, NO TALENT. I shouldn't say that, because deep down I know I'm a very talented person, but recently I just feel completely unappreciated- like everything I do is just not quite good enough. No audition has gone well enough, no song has been performed up to par, no joke was funny enough... you get the picture. I'm feeling a little left behind in the performance department, and I can't help but feel discouraged when I know I'm putting so much energy toward getting better and doing well, and I'm just seeing absolutely no return. I need a major confidence booster PRONTO.

And to top it off, I have done absolutely no knitting. This blog was originally started to discuss my favorite hobby, and unfortunately I haven't even done it in months. OYYYYY.

Sorry, I know this post is a little bit "Debbie-Downer", but things just aren't great right now. I'm putting all my energy into staying positive, and I'm just praying that any day now things are going to change. I have faith that things will work out, but I have definitely felt a little beaten-down recently.

Here's to the best of times (and the best of times is now. What's left of summer, but a faded rose?), better tomorrows, and a little positive reassurance.