Saturday, January 30, 2010

Two Posts in One Day, What is This????

I know, two posts in one day, and within an hour of each other, none-the-less. The thing is, I'm really fucking pissed about something and I gotta say it- Perez Hilton is a fat, useless fuck.

They say (and who are "they", by the way?), "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." So in some bizarre act of masochism, I read Perez's blog everyday to see what stupid things he's going to say that will infuriate me. Today, he posted an article entitled, "Friends Without Makeup"- it was a picture of Lisa Kudrow walking somewhere in CA without makeup on, and being stalked by those money-hungry, worthless vulture low-lives, otherwise known as paparazzi. Here's a few points:

1- NO. Being famous does not make it ok for someone to follow you around and harass you, taking pictures of you and making up stories about you. For one thing, I don't know who is actually interested in knowing that Brangelina went shopping at Kids-R-Us today, but they need to figure out a few of their own priorities.

People think that it's just part of the package being a celebrity having paparazzi follow you, but I say, "Screw you, you have no idea what you're talking about." The few celebrities that are real actors do not deserve to be bombarded and fretted over regarding their personal lives. Actors are not animals (you ever eat with one?), they are people, and they deserve to be treated with respect. How would you feel if someone followed you around, taking unflattering pictures and printed them everywhere? So unless you want people to see YOU out of makeup, see YOUR belly bulge, look inside YOUR grocery bags and purses, shut the fuck up and mind your business.

2- My main point of business. What good is Perez Hilton? This man (and I use that term loosely) is someone who has made a career doing NOTHING. What contribution does his famous blog make to the world? His grammar is terrible, so you can't even claim that he's a writer.

All he does is sit behind his computer, safely criticizing celebrities from a distance. "Is this starlet pregnant?", "Look at HER without makeup!", "Look how much weight SHE'S put on..." I have news for you, Perez- you calling someone fat is truly the whale calling the other "Willy". Put the twinkies down for two seconds, look in the mirror, and get a fresh dose of reality. Behind those crooked teeth and that pig-face is only a layer of crisco, supported by columns of Chips Ahoy.

I mean what's this guy's deal? Some fat, ugly, talent-less hock is suddenly a critic? Isn't that always the way of it...

For instance, in the aforementioned article about Lisa Kudrow he says things like, "Everyone needs a good foundation in life... and Lisa Kudrow needs about a gallon of it on her face." Who the hell is he to be talking? That pimply, pizza faced blog-twat is no picasso, with the possible exception of the organization of his features. Mr. Ed probably got more ass than Perez Hilton. He goes on to say, "And check out her forehead! It looks like a composition notebook- wide ruled! Can we practice our cursive, please?" This from the same man (again, loosely... much like the rolls above his belt) who decries botox and plastic surgery.

I believe that this puts us in a bit of a dilemma- someone who doesn't condone botox or plastic surgery is also critical of age lines on the face? Apparently, the answer is this- ladies, STOP AGING. It's ugly.

Ugh. FUCK YOU PEREZ. Get a real job that requires real talent, which for you will probably be taste-testing sticks of butter or modeling connect-the-dots puzzles on your face.

I mean, come on- the guy isn't even a good spokesman! He's loud and offensive, forcing his opinions on people. When he got involved in that whole debacle with Carrie Prejean and her anti-gay marriage stance, he was EXACTLY the type of person I don't want to represent the gay community! Some loud-mouthed, nonsense-spewing schmuck with no information to back up his opinions. I mean, is this the face of a serious advocate for gay rights-

That looks like Mr. Clean's gay nightmare.

Please, for the love of God, let the world stop encouraging this man. I don't think I can take his loud-mouthed, disgusting hypocrisy anymore...

Peace (HA)

This is Some Chris ANGEL Shiz... My Oprah Story

Weight Watchers is magical. Period.

About a year-and-a-half ago, I finally decided that my weight was holding me back from a lot of things that would make me happy. I was never a particularly large person- chubby at most, but still well over the weight that I wanted to be.

When I started high school, I was somewhere in the 130-135lb range. Through the course of the next three years I put on weight, which is totally to be expected as I grew up (well, out...) and filled out (WAY out). The truth is, in high school I only grew about an inch or two more to a shorter-side-of-average height of 5'8". I also graduated at 182lbs. Nooooot quite an even ratio of height/weight gain... I will never forget the day my grandmother looked at me and said, "Wow, you look like you've put on some weight. Your face is round." I love my Mima- always direct and to the point =) But she was right, I looked like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man's tan cousin... but I refused to wear that silly hat.

My first year of college, by no choice of my own, I lost about seven pounds, bringing me to 175, which is fine if you're 6'2" and a swimmer. Unfortunately for all of us, I am neither of these. So when I was accepted into the musical theatre program at MSU it was on a strictly "character actor" basis- no big ballads, a few sidekick one-liners, and a guarantee that you would be "enjoyable" or "cuddly".

So, about a year-and-a-half ago, we did Crazy for You- a huge musical with literally hundreds of props, four giant set pieces that wheeled on from stage right and left, including an entire tavern rigged with exploding coo-coo clocks and a balcony, thousands of feet of wiring for lights and electric, a self-propelled car (that worked on occasion, albeit) and hundreds of costumes. On top of it all, we used the original Susan Stroman choreography, and that's where the trouble came.

I could do all of the dances. Maybe not quite as well as some of the other guys, but the moves were there. The issue was that I was constantly finding myself in the back, to the side, or cut out entirely- being used more in the singing parts. Normally this wouldn't bother me as I don't consider myself a great dancer, but in a show where the main character was the choreography, it sucked to be left out. I started to suspect that the reason I was cut from many of the dances was because of my size.

A lot of the other guys, even if they weren't stick thin, had a muscular or fit physique. They were the ones featured in the tap lines while I cheered from the Feed Store stage left. Long story short (too late), that show broke me down a bit. I realized that if I didn't change, this was going to be my life- featured character actor and a dance routine hidden behind the cool kids. And that was when my best friend (who happened to be playing Polly) introduced me to Weight Watchers.

Over the course of the next three months I lost about fifteen pounds, exercising and following the points system. I got noticed more, was cast as my first leading part in a mainstage (staged concert) show- still a character part, sort of, but a leading part, and was being told that I was more castable. Two months later, and another fifteen pounds, I was down to 145lbs.

The long and short of it is that I'm not usually an advocate for things like fad diets and stuff, but I am advocating this. I know what it's like to struggle with body image, weight, appearance, etc. and I have a great deal of empathy when it comes to things like that. I am still a sincere believer in eating healthy, no matter what your size, and being happy with yourself. If you are happy at a size fourteen, I am happy for/with you. I think a lot of the media has made being average-sized or plus-sized almost a crime, which is not right. The entertainment industry is a terrible role model in terms of body image and weight, setting impossibly high standards (that in many cases, aren't even real considering the amount of photoshopping and airbrushing out in LA LA Land) regarding shape, size, and maintenance of our bodies- trust me, I've been through it. I will never forget the first day of rehearsal for my first show at MSU, the director looked at me and said, "You need to lose some weight." It sucks.

The reason I'm writing about this is that Weight Watchers helped me lose the weight, but I've been noticing lately that if I get close to 150lbs again, I go crazy. I crash diet, I exercise like mad, and tire myself out. While I am a huge advocate for Weight Watchers done in a healthy way, and also (if it's possible) a stern believer in accepting and loving yourself for who and what you are, do not let it rule you. Every time I feel a little more weight on my bones and I start to freak out, I look in the mirror and I force myself to realize that I am beautiful. I am not ugly because of a few extra pounds (nor would I be for a lot of extra pounds). I want to be a part of society that practices what they preach when they say, "Eat healthy, exercise, and live your life proud." That's all I want. I will probably never have a crazy six-pack and a totally lean physique, I'm just not built that way. But I can love myself and think that I'm still worth being loved no matter what I look like, even if there's some room for improvement. That's my own battle.

Anyway, that's the end of my Oprah testimonial. I have GOT to go, because I just ate three croutons, and my fingers aren't going to stick themselves down my throat. A moment on the lips, as they say...

JOKING. Don't freak out.

Song of the Day- 'You Are Loved' by Josh Groban.

Peace, Love, and Beauty.

No Lost Cause

I am happy to say that I continued work on the right sleeve of the sweater today! The sleeve is about half finished, not even warranting a picture, but on its way to being finished none-the-less. The next set of pictures will probably come around when the seaming begins.

On a sadder note, I'll probably be needing 3-4 more skeins of the wool... which means a solid $12-15 more, bringing this sweater to a total of almost $70. If I could afford tissues, I'd cry. Alas, Bank of America is cruel.

This better be the softest, most amazing sweater I've ever worn, or there will be hell to pay over at Garnstudio.

More to come.


Thursday, January 28, 2010

Let's Set the Record Straight (So to Speak)

I'm a pretty liberal person. I have almost always voted in favor of the more liberal candidate, I give in too easily to "bleeding heart" issues, and let's face it- it's near impossible to not be a little liberal when you're a part of the gay community.

But here's the thing- I don't like Barack Obama. I KNOW I'm terrible, but hear me out on this one...

Everything you read about this man- every gay rights activist, every queer columnist, every fruity blogger, and all the sillies who listened when he said "yes we can" said, "Hell yeah, we can!" without even realizing that behind their backs, he said, "Oh wait, but you can't."

Barack Obama, from day one, was openly opposed to gay marriage. It was written on his website, he said so in interviews prior to his candidacy, and Joe Biden said it on the Vice Presidential debate on national television. Biden used that terrible, crowd appeasing (or at least trying to) cop-out of an escape route, and I paraphrase, "Senator Obama and I do not support same-sex marriage, but we do support civil unions."

Don't get me started on the specifics, like how this phrase is commonly used by people who have no problem denying people their civil rights, but do have a problem with those people not voting for them. And let's not forget the fact that marriage IS a civil union, it's just got a bigger, better package than the unions formally considered "civil" (but don't let the name fool you- gay rights activists are pushing for civil marriage, not religious... thanks religious-right for muddling that one up).

But let's talk for a moment about how this is affecting us today. Go on a gay blog. Any one, it doesn't matter. Perhaps you prefer one written by a fat, ugly, celebrity wannabe who likes to condemn celebrities for being fat and/or ugly. It's your choice. The point being that prior to, and now following Obama's declaration that he intends to put an end to "Don't ask, don't tell" people had assumed he was gonna say, "'yes we can' let the gays go to city hall!" And (surprise, surprise) they were shocked when he said, "I never said that, you can't go to city hall, and put the Tiffany's rings back on the shelf." Because what queen wants anything but Tiffany's?

These silly people get all worked up about how he "led [them] on" and he's "turned his back on [them]" and they don't even realize that they voted for this man without really knowing who he was or what he stood for. If you liked Obama for his health plan (what one was that, by the way?), fine, you have an excuse. Maybe his stimulus package (what one was that, by the way?) got your vote. But you CANNOT say that you voted for Barack Obama because of his stance on gay marriage unless you are opposed to it. Sorry Chad, you can't have your tiramisu and eat it too.

And now these people who made these vaaaaaaast assumptions have just learned the hard way that that silly rhyme about what assumptions do actually has some truth to it. I don't claim to know whether these people just didn't do their homework, or if they thought that the great leader who was bringing change could be persuaded. However, it doesn't seem to be the latter, as they feel he's backtracking on a promise. TRUST me folks, I looked into this long before he was winning nobel peace prizes (for what, did he win that, again?)- Barack Obama and Joe Biden have never claimed to support same-sex marriage. I guess this is just a lesson in reading the fine print. The trouble is, this fine print isn't about the mileage on your lease, it's about the civil rights your predecessors have been actively fighting for for over 30 years. READ people. Be informed.

And now, here we are. The great quick-change artist is promising to end "don't ask, don't tell". And why? Why is someone who is fundamentally opposed to the biggest, most important same-sex issue of this decade offering to repeal such a trivial (in comparison) establishment?

Don't get me wrong, I think DADT is beyond idiocy- it's a redneck he-man law that needs to come off the books. But why is Barack Obama doing it? He doesn't have plans to further support the needs of gay Americans. So why the hubbub, bub?

I'm thoroughly convinced that this is nothing more than an appeasement. Mr. Prez has been under a LOT of fire recently from gay activist groups that have been defaming him for his stance on gay marriage. So what is this? It's a plea bargain- "I'll give you the army if you give me some peace and quiet". In the words of the drunken Elaine Stritch during that infamous recording session, "WROOOOOOOOOOOONG."

Sorry, dude. That will not shut me up. It will not make me forget that you have promised to be a President who shows compassion and understanding; one who told the world that he would instigate change for all Americans, and is still playing the game of politics. Too afraid to extend those promises to everyone? Fine, be that way. But you're not gonna double-talk your way out of it on my watch.


I know, I know- I'm a bad blogger. So I took a few days off, big deal right? (This is just my passive aggressive way of feeling guilty for not sticking to my plan of posting every day).

Anyway, there's not a whole lot to report. The sweater hasn't made much progress as I've been coming home and PASSING OUT after class. I have a dance class almost every day, go to the gym almost every day, working three days a week until I can find a better job, doing some crazy work in all my classes, and I'm just about ready for another vacation.

Some positives about this semester: Today my acting teacher FINALLY told me I did some good work. I found something grounded in myself, tried to live in the moment, and followed my impulses to achieve my objective... and it paid off. Dance classes have been going much better, I feel energized and ready to work in them, and I feel like I'm getting better. My roommates and I have been spending a lot of time together when we can, and I'm loving having them around and baking a lot =)

Some negatives: We've been baking a lot. I've gained 5 pounds, despite all my dance classes and gym sessions, and I think some of it is stress eating. I'm also not cast this semester, with the exception of an industrial that we're doing in Miami in March. It's 99% dancing, 1% singing, and 100% cheese-fest, and I can't do any of the dancing. I'm not really a dancer, I'm a fake dancer... a "fancer", if you will. But there is no faking my way through this one. I can't for the life of me figure out why I'm in it- it sort of feels like a consolation prize for not being in the mainstage musical. We're doing Side Show, a musical about a freak show and a pair of siamese twins. All I keep hearing is Clay (the program coordinator) saying, "Well, you're not talented enough to play a freak, so I'll just let you be one in a dance show." Either way, I was going to end up crippled and crying.

OY. I guess this is just life. Hopefully I'll have some pictures to post soon of a FINISHED sweater. You would think with all the time I have not being cast, I'd be getting some of it done. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Here's to better footwork, faster finger work, and the ladies who lunch. And if the footwork isn't better, "everybody laugh".


Thursday, January 21, 2010

HAIR Auditions

But let me tell you WHY I'm angry.

I woke up at 5:00 this morning, getting ready to catch the 6:29 bus to the Port Authority in NYC (and if I miss that one, there's the 6:49, no worries). I calmly collect myself, slowly rolling out of bed. I note the darkness still lingering outside. It's very quiet in the apartment, only the sound of the vent in the living room whispering faintly through my closed door.

It was at this point that I began my morning ritual of checking my personal, school, and professional email, Men Who Knit, Ravelry, and then (of course) facebook. With the first five done, I logged onto and began to skim a few of the statuses near the top of my newsfeed. As it turns out, my one friend had a status up- "Hair, hair, hair hair hair, hair hair haaaaaaaaaaaaair- 3:17am? I think so =/"-3:17am. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I texted her immediately asking if she was going. Well, suffice it to say not only was she going... she was there- and she was number 195 in line to audition.

I dropped my coffee mug in slow motion; it shattered and splashed everywhere sending shards of broken off-white ceramic across my bedroom floor. I sprang into action ripping my pajamas from my body and replacing them with a very stylish substitute (black printed t-shirt and tight Lucky Brand jeans with argyle Tommy Hilfiger slip-ons). I threw my audition book, headshot/resume, diabetes supplies, and food into my bag, brushed my hair, threw in my contacts, and ran out the door (forgetting my iPod... UGH).

It was now 5:45am- No shuttles in sight to get across campus so I began running to get to an ATM for the bus... That's when the shuttle drove into my apartment complex. After I'd gone. Life is cruel.

So what was I to do? Why, keep running of course! All the way across campus to the ATM, and then all the way down the road to the bus stop. I made it there by 6:00- thank god I'd gone on the elliptical the night before! And at 6:11 the bus came early, much to my shock and pleasure.

Long story short, I was in the city by 10-to-seven and at the Public Theater at 7:00am. I walked down the line, looking at the crowd of people that stretched all the way down the block and around the corner. I followed the labyrinth, fought the dragon, saved the princess, and got a spot in line on the NEXT BLOCK. THE NEXT BLOCK. THE LINE STRETCHED TO THE NEXT BLOCK. Didn't hear me? Don't understand? Let me break it down- THE LINE STRETCHED TO THE NEEEEEEEXT BLOOOOOOOOOOCK.

I got in line and waited at approximately spot number 720. The doors were due to open at 9am... it was 7:10. As my extremities slowly lost feeling, I began to wish I knew where in line my friends were so that I might join them (this, unfortunately, never came to be), but here I was stuck behind a short, portly blond girl fresh out of AMDA with a big dream and a big mouth. As she did her Shtick for the sidewalk, I tried to focus on figuring out what was going on.

Long story short, again, I waited in line for a little while- say, 4-and-a-half hours waiting to get in to sign up. Along the way the amazing Kate Hoover met me in line (remember that name, she'll be noteworthy some day) and laughed a lot, snaking around Lafayette street to the front of the Public. Eventually a very pleasant woman came outside and calmly announced to the remaining 3-400 people who hadn't yet signed up (including me) that they had filled all of the audition spots with many awkward people who were totally wrong for this show, and probably most others.

Alright, I may have embellished a bit upon her speech, but let's face it, it's true... and thus we come to the point of this post. I wouldn't have been upset if I'd been late and unable to get to the front of the line. I wouldn't have been upset if I'd gone in and nothing had come of my audition. I wouldn't even be upset if they'd typed me out in line (for those of you who don't know, "typing out" is when they go down an over-crowded line and expel the people who don't have the look they want, thus judging you based on "type"). What upsets me is that I went to such extreme measures, spending something in the neighborhood of $50 in transportation/food/etc., waking up so early, doing so much preparation, and went crazy trying to get to NYC at the ass crack of dawn only to lose my spot to a teeny-bopper "HAIR-Head" that had camped outside the Public all night with her Musical Theatre Anthology and polaroid headshot.

Why don't people understand this is a business? Sixteen year-old girls, in most cases, do not belong at these calls taking up space and time. And then you have people who are obviously not appropriate for the show taking audition spots from people who might have been very good. And all of this occurs because there is no organization, no sense of order at these cattle-calls that can separate the people who are there for a real audition from the teenagers who have a bizarre obsession with a new show, but have no idea what they're doing or what the audition process or being in a huge show really entails.

I had to think that someone like Kate who is non-equity and needs a job, who graduated with a Bachelors of Music and a concentration in Musical Theatre and has studied extensively how to be a real performer is much more qualified than a girl who's going to sing "I Can't Say No" and is wearing a head band with peace signs and an outfit that looks more like a dead Cherokee than a hippie. It's so sad to me that people think that so many starving actors are people who are soooooo talented, but they just can't work at all. The truth is, while many talented people do struggle to find work, it is also because these daft people with no place in this business make it impossible to get seen.

Long story short- This is professional theatre, not American Idol. Stop crowding auditions.

The end.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Second Semester- Part 1

This semester has actually been off to a pretty good start. I'm on a pretty good sleep schedule (up at about 8:30 every morning... whaaaaaat???) and feeling great before each day starts.

I spent half an hour on the elliptical today and actually didn't pass out! I already feel like all I needed was a full break with no obligations. I'm glad to be back and feeling motivated to work, especially after the disaster that was last semester. As far as living through acting class, we'll see.

Tomorrow is the audition for Hair. I'm very excited, surprisingly nerve free, and feeling prepared. I just hope more than anything that I can come out feeling good about my work. I'm not looking for results, just a self-esteem booster. Here's to a good audition... and the ladies who lunch =)

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Well ladies and gents, the verdict is in- I have some new headshots!

After some light (hahahahahaha) retouching, I'm going to post my three favorites from the shoot. Feel free to let me know if you like one more than  another, etc.

Again, these pictures were taken by Angelina Krawec of Forever Young Photography. If you'd like contact information, I'd be happy to supply it =)




My personal favorite is #1, but there are definitely aspects of the other two that I like. Let me know what you think!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

I'm Looking Rather Attractive... Now that I'm Radioactive!

I wasn't going to write about this until after the fact, but I couldn't really hold it in anymore. I'm very excited because the Broaway revival of HAIR is having auditions on Thursday, the 21st for non-equity performers, and I'm going.

I'm not really hoping for anything too crazy (just a callback would actually be more than I'm expecting), but I'm going because I couldn't imagine missing it. This show has inspired me in so many ways, not just as a performer, but in my personal life as well-

When I've doubted the ability of the world to change, when I couldn't handle all of the crazy people with no concept of reality, and when I thought I was the only one who felt alienated even by the people who were supposed to be like me, this show made me feel better about the world. I could finally understand that, while I do believe some hippie qualities were a little extreme and bizarre, they ultimately believed in some things that were so fundamental and important to preserving society- understanding. Love, beauty, acceptance, open-mindedness- these are all things that I have been striving for as a person and a performer. I think these days, the world could use another bout of hippie-ness, because we've become so self-obsessed, so jaded by corporate corruption that no one seems to be able to stop and think about each other and the small things in the world that are so precious.

I would love to be a part of a production like this; one where the cast believes in what they're saying and they actually become involved in the community. What other broadway shows have publicly endorsed events and groups that promoted their message? The producers and the cast of HAIR actually had the sense to cancel a show so that the cast could participate in the National Equality March in Washington D.C. It means a lot to me that (while I know there is the fact that they are still publicizing the show in a way) they are actually using their name for good. I would love to be part of something like that.

Anyway, I have no idea what will happen on Thursday. Most likely, they will say, "Thank you," and smile as I leave. But part of me can't help but feel a little excited- after all, didn't I pursue this because I can't help but dream? =)

New Lace Project

It's Sunday, I feel lazy... I'm just going to post some pictures =)

I've been working on the Stor Lysedug lace knitting pattern for a couple days now, and after starting it about five times and screwing up a few yarn overs, it's starting to look ok.

Saturday, January 16, 2010


 Aaaaalright, now I've gone and said pictures and you think that you're going to get to see my BEAUTIFUL new headshots. Well, you're not, I'm sorry to say. However, I do have some pictures of my sweater that I had previously mentioned! This is the Men's Hooded Pullover from the DROPS collection, Magazine number 85. This was my first sweater, so I'm particularly

proud of the way it's coming out. I have had no experience sizing
a garment (with the exception of possibly determining how long to
make a scarf) so I'm happy to report that as of now, I haven't had any
major sizing issues.

As far as what's left to do on this garment, I'm excited to say that the
answer is "not much". I've started the right sleeve (well alright, it's not specified as the right sleeve, the directions just say "sleeves" and you knit it twice, but I've decided it's the right one...) and have only to finish that sleeve, the second one, and the hood. Then it's on to the part that probably scares me the most about this entire project- the seaming.

I can safely say that I am positively terrified to begin seaming this garment. I'm convinced that not only will my stitches not line up correctly, but that when I finish it will be the most ragamuffin waste of my time. Of course, I'm well aware that I'm catastrophizing and that everything will probably (I say probably with a hint of fear and skepticism) be fine in the end... but there is that "probably" looming dangerously over my head. But I will keep on chugging along, and hopefully, God willing, finish this sweater in the next few days. Of course, then there's the challenge of blocking wool... which I've never done. This seems like one of those situations where everyone will say, "Oh don't worry, it's the easiest thing in the world! As long as you don't stretch the fabric too far, ripping holes in your garment that, much like the box of Pandora, will unleash the very core of evil upon humanity and curse your future knitting projects, you'll be golden!" Easy for you to say, knitting Gods...

Anyway, I am definitely happy with the sweater so far, and I'll be sure to post pictures when it's finished, as well as a slightly more detailed account of it's assembly and my review of the pattern. I guess it's off to try to get some work done on it. I need a little motivation, though, I think. I can't help but be reminded of the age old story of Elaine Stritch begging Ethel Merman if she could leave a half hour early to get to New Haven from New York in time for her performance of Pal Joey, only to receive the response, "Oh for Christ's sake, Elaine, would you go to New Haven and sing the F@*king song!" If only I had such a poetic send-off.

Here's to not unleashing the evils of the world on humanity, finishing my first sweater, and the ladies who lunch (as well as the ladies who travel to New Haven under the strict orders of La Merm to sing f@*king songs).


Friday, January 15, 2010

Sleepless in New Jersey

Ok- I don't know how this always ends up being the case, but for some reason, every time I come home (as in back to my hometown) I cannot sleep. I end up working on some silly project, or surfing online until I look up and- oh! - it's 5am. Then I get into bed, say my prayers (not many of them, but it usually ends up just being my pathetic plea to fall asleep), and get ready for the marathon workout my obliques are going to get as my body hurls itself back and forth all night.

After about an hour or so of tossing and turning, I think, "Maybe a glass of milk and a cookie." So now, not only am I not sleeping, I'm literally tripping over myself hurdling OUT of bed at the thought of those cream-filled bits of ecstasy otherwise known as Oreos. Class... it's a gift.

Lovely- sleepless nights and binge eating. I'm about two shotgun weddings and an electric buzzer away from the home life of Britney Spears.

So now what? After several of these sleepless nights, I finally got to sleep around 3:30 last night (not great, but an improvement none-the-less...) only to wake up at 8:00am and, as you can see, not accomplish much else in the way of rem cycles.

However, to put my time to good use, I have decided that in light of my artistic disposition, I would express my feelings in an early (for me) morning photoshoot chronicling my dilemma:

#1- The Awakening

#2- Anger

#3- Disbelief

#4- Disgust

#5- Longing

#6- Fear

#7- Dimentia


Thursday, January 14, 2010

Tom Lehrer

What a DAY.

With a staggering two-and-a-half hours of sleep, I somehow managed to get up and function to even my own surprise, as usually anything less than 10 hours of sleep constitutes physical exhaustion. But with a full day of Top Modeling ahead of me I couldn't afford to be groggy- off to Dunkin Donuts.

My day started out with the careful choosing of several outfits, as I was having some new headshots taken! I normally despise taking headshots- despite my genetic predisposition as a homosexual to having my picture taken, I'm not much of a model. However today I knew I could look forward to working with the very talented (and coincidentally, one of my best friends) Angelina Krawec whose up-and-coming studio Forever Young Photography is definitely worth the research should you find yourself in need of a photographer.

While I'm on the subject of headshots, I would like to discuss just how incredibly frustrating it is to pick one. Besides constant self-criticism, finding every flaw, and wondering "What was I thinking with that pose???", it is just about impossible to figure out which picture any casting director or agent would ever want to see for any reason. As with anything else in this business, it just seems like it's all a guessing game where the rules are inconsequential and meaningless because you could have the worst headshot in the world, but someone could see something and call it "spark" or "sincerity" and there you have it... you're in. It's all like dating Chris Brown- one minute you're cruising at fifty, the next you've got a steak on your eye and you're telling people you fell down the stairs- you just never see anything coming.

Anyway, I came home and played a little Jenga and a VERY addicting card game called 'ka-bing' with Angelina, and now I'm finishing the day with a diet snapple and bags under my eyes (expensive designer bags, but bags none the less). Here's to hoping tomorrow is equally productive and entertaining, getting a good night's sleep, and the ladies who lunch... I'll be lucky if I can sit up, let alone 'rise'.

OH and PS- I found a GREAT new audition song. I know a thousand people probably already know it, and I'm sure it's overdone, but it's right up my alley. The song is called "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" by Tom Lehrer. A very funny parody of the classic showtune about fine spring days, claiming it is only enjoyable once the singer can poison the pigeons in the park. Very cute, noel coward-esque, and has some great cuts for auditions. Now to print it, prepare it, and get it in my book...

PPS- Headshot pictures to come once they're edited, not to mention pictures of my current knitting project, the DROPS Men's Pullover from Magazine 85. It's coming along beautifully with the front and back done and the right sleeve begun. Just a sleeve-and-a-half, a hood, and some seaming away from my first sweater =)


The Actor Knits

Well here it is- the first blog for male (or female, I guess) actors who knit! You can stop searching, as I know this is a demographic that has been longing for representation (much like the Teen Miss Deaf Black Mississippi pageant... how far can they narrow this down?) because I am here to appeal to the masses that enjoy pretending to be other people and turning itchy yarns into itchy sweaters.

Why, you might ask, would anyone want to read a blog about an actor who knits? To me it seems obvious, but I will clear your minds-

As an actor, I am trained to entertain- to dig deep into the human psyche and characterize the darkest, most vulnerable, and sometimes disturbing qualities of this crazy population... and what is more disturbing than a man making lace doilies in a fashionably off-white or brightly colored lace-weight yarn on pink aluminum double-point needles? If you answered "Being Bobby Brown", you are correct... but I would thank you to stop stating the obvious.

In all seriousness, there is nothing disturbing about a man who knits (unless he's knitting a willy-warmer... that's a little weird), especially if he's an actor. So I hope that as you read this blog, you'll enjoy some of my rants about techniques I'm learning myself and projects I'm working on, as well as my inevitable personal rants about pop culture, my life, and anything in between.

In short, hold onto your needles ladies... this is not going to be pretty.

Here's to a new adventure, new projects, and the ladies who lunch.