Wednesday, February 1, 2012

What Dreams May Come

Yeah, I haven't written here in like two months, so?

Ok, you're right, I'm really bad at this.

So here's the scoop- I'm trying to get back on the bandwagon of being a real human being with adult responsibilities and some kind of regular schedule. I have decided to start by posting here again every night, even if I don't really have anything to say... which should be really great for all of you reading.

The point is this: I have been really lucky. Especially in this business, it is easy to feel overlooked, untalented, and unimpressive, but I have been lucky enough to get to know someone who has made me realize that A) I was being kind of a whiny bitch, and rather than sitting on my ass eating oreos and watching reruns of Project Runway, I should be sitting on my ass eating oreos and looking up auditions with reruns of Project Runway in the background (Ok, we all know it should be Dear Genevieve, but whatever)... and B) I go on too many long tangents and forget what my bullet points are.

I know he has an aversion to being mentioned in blog posts, so I won't name any names, but this great guy has been so supportive and has had so much faith in me without any reservations, and I am so grateful for that right now. I only hope that I can somehow return the favor.

The truth is that I have been allowing my fear of failure to stop me from doing what makes me happy, and I've subscribed to the idea that I wasn't good enough before I could prove myself wrong (or right. Would I be right? I think I'm wrong...). After a kind of bad episode where I confessed to him that I was in a funk about myself as a performer, he knew exactly how to make me feel better about myself, and even inspired me to go out and do my best work- and believe it or not, today, the day after our talk, I went out and got two callbacks this week.

Don't lose faith in yourselves. Sometimes that's the only support you'll feel you have... and if you're lucky, you'll meet a guy like him.

Besides, if you can't love yourself, how in the HELL are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen?!?! (Yes you can, Ru... Yes you can...)


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