Tuesday, January 17, 2012

For Mima

Just a short post-

2012 Has been crazy so far- lots of auditions coming up, which is great, because at the end of last year I was kind of falling off the horse with that one... and instead of getting back on, I was just kind of shrugging in the dirt, thinking, "Eh... I'll catch the next one that comes by."

The biggest change this year, though, is that on December 30th my grandmother passed away. She was one of the most loving, supportive, and funny people I have ever had the privilege of knowing, making this one of the most confusing and shocking moments in my life.

At every show, Mima was there. Whenever I sang, she was there. She loved when I recorded songs for her, she always wanted to talk about actors, movies, musicals, and (more than anything) show biz stories. She just had this enthusiasm for what I did that inspired me to love it even more, and I always loved that if something great happened she was so excited for me.

Lately I have been doubting myself. I have been doubting my abilities as a performer, I have been doubting my choices to pursue it, and I have been doubting whether or not it truly makes me happy anymore. But when I think of how she loved me and had such unwavering faith in me, it makes me want to prove myself. It makes me realize that she (as well as so many other people I love) had so little doubt that I had something special about me that she never once discouraged me from following my dream.

While I do get sad when I think of how much I miss her- even realizing that this is the first blog post that I'll have written that she didn't get to read- I also know that she is always here with me. Now when I walk into the audition room, I won't have to wait til Sunday dinner to tell her how it went, because she will be there with me. From now on, Mima is my guardian angel.

As I approach this crazy audition season and PRAY that someone will give me a job, perhaps my prayers are exactly what I need.


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