Alright, I know I've been a little bit of a whiny bitch recently, but here's the good news- it's all over!
Last night I was talking to my very good friend Angelina who happens to also be in a bit of a rough spot. I was giving her advice because she and her ex-girlfriend were having issues, and the best advice I could give her was, "Maybe you need time away from her. You need to put her out of her head." And like a fucking light switch (as I'm always the last one to follow my own advice), I realized that I had to put all of this negativity out of my head.
Don't get me wrong, I have no intention of cutting Corey out of my life- I still very much enjoy his company and he's an amazing person, but I realized I have to stop romanticizing this whole situation. It's time to move on, and while the pangs are not 100% gone, I'm ready to take the next step and start enjoying my life again. And I realized as I was talking to Angelina that I had to start being my positive-self again. I kid you not, it was like instantly a cloud lifted.
So I was finally able to go to bed and sleep well (although I had the most TERRIBLE dream I think I've ever had... I don't really want to talk about it, but it was actually a bit horrifying, and can probably be attributed to my finally letting go of Corey emotionally). And now today, it was like things were completely different- I was finally able to see all the amazing things going on around me.
1- I know I was bitter about my auditions, but guess what? I was cast as the Beadle in Sweeney Todd! Finally a supporting lead onstage in the Kasser- a big show, a big set, a great part, and LINES/SONGS! So amazing, I'm literally on cloud 9 today after finding out. A much needed boost of confidence =)
2- Julie, the acting teacher from Yale Drama whose class I was DEVASTATED to be missing, announced that she would be dividing the class into two sections to make it available to the students who couldn't get in before... aka, ME. So exciting! Julie is just the most amazing teacher, and I can't wait to learn as much as I possibly can from her.
3- Spoke to Mary English, who is teaching Theater History... the class I couldn't fit in my shedule, and she told me I could get a permit! So I'm getting that out of the way.
4- I don't have to take Scott Richards' acting class again, since when I took it two years ago I never officially signed up. Today, after speaking with him, we decided I could just sign up for the class and he would give me a grade.
All this good news in one day? How is that FUCKING possible??? I'll tell you- put good vibes out there, people. Think positive thoughts, and I swear to God (whom I am graciously thankful toward at the moment) it comes back to you. We all have our moments, Lord knows I've had mine recently, and that's ok. But don't forget that the fog will pass, and when you're ready the world will conspire for you.
I am so unbelievably grateful for the friends and family who have been there for me recently when it was so difficult, to this amazing director (Jodi Capeless) who is taking a chance on me, God, the universe, and whatever powers that be that have made today such a relief from what was otherwise a miserable moment in my life. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.
Now I have to hop in the shower- dinner and drinks with Adam and Chelsea tonight to celebrate. I just got back from the gym, so I am a sweaty mess, but I couldn't be happier.