Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Don't Ask, Don't Tell... Because We Already Know You're Stupid.

In all seriousness, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" should be applied to something that truly makes a difference in the military, like the IQ's of the idiots who make these laws.

Wouldn't you be truly horrified to find out the Secretary of Defense was working with a solid 45 or 46? The entire administration in Washington combined can't break 100, and I'd bet money on it. Because no one in their right mind, or at least one that breaks 100, would implement such a bigoted, red-neck, bible-thumping law.

General George Casey, the Army Chief of Staff, commented in an address to congress, "We just don't know the impacts on readiness and military effectiveness." Could someone please explain to me how men who can handle being shot at, blown up, and living in holes in a desert for months on end can't handle someone in the military being gay? Killing people is a day's work, but cuddling up next to Colonel Sanders at 14:00 is a big no-no.

It gets better- Defense Secretary Robert Gates goes on to question how lifting the ban will "[affect] troops and their families". Let me get this straight (HA)- The army thinks that having gays in the military will affect... soldiers'... families?

Well, luckily for all of us (and the state department), I took High School english, so I will draft the letter for them... considering they're probably working with the same education:

Dear Ms. [Insert Lesser Sex's Name Here]:
      We regret to inform you that while serving his country in the Iraq desert, your husband, [Insert Heroic name like "Hank" or "Texas"] was forced to cohabit with homosexuals. His brave efforts and heroic example inspire all of us to fight for this beautiful, God-fearing nation to our last breath. Unless it is next to a fudge-packer.

Counseling for you and your loved-ones is available, and fully provided by the Horizon Blue Cross insurance provided by your husband's service and the unmarried, tax-paying gay couples throughout the country.

Our condolences and best wishes go out to you in this difficult time.

Dick Cheney
Truly, how could a soldier being openly gay affect soldiers' families??? Unless one of those soldiers leaves his wife and kids to go adopt one of the insurgents with his new life partner 'Rex', I just don't see the affect.

Listen people- can we just call a spade a spade and say that this is good ol' fashioned bigotry? They're afraid the other soldiers won't be able to play nice with the sissies, and it'll fuck up morale. Well how about this: when the meat heads get rough, they get kicked in the ass. Rather than make soldiers hide in the closet, why don't you tell Billy-Bob to put down the Bud Light and pick up "The Pink Triangle", he can "Larn him some toler-ance".

So tired of this issue. I'm starting my own country, and none of these people can be in it.


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